Cauldron to Conflagration
by Lord Youko
Summary: Remus Lupin is the average nerd, picked on by bullies till one day, Sirius Black decides to make him HIS. And pity any bully who tries to stand up to the Prank Master. But will Remus give in to Sirius seduction?
1. Big Bad Bullies

**Story: Cauldron ToConflagration**

_Summary: Remus Lupin is the average nerd, picked on by bullies till Sirius Black decides to make him HIS. And pity any bully who tries to stand up to the Prank Master. But will Remus give in to Sirius seduction? _

**A/N: **Hey guys! This story's slightly AU where Sirius and James are a year older than Remus and Peter and the rest you'll find out as you read on ^_^

* * *

**Chapter 1: Big Bad Bullies**

Remus Lupin stood with fists clenched. I was not like he hadn't expected this. He had known this was going to happen. A shabby dress, inherent shyness, and scrawny build were just not a point in your favor when you were a first year. Ragging of the first years was a tradition, even in Hogwarts and Remus Lupin had thought he had prepared himself. But that didn't make this any more fun.

"So," drawled one of the seniors, Malcolm, stretching his feet out. "Are you gonna do it or what?"

Remus gritted his teeth. "I'll do it."

Malcolm was not someone anyone would want to mess with. Big, burly and with a reputation for violence, most of the first years had been warned by well wishers to stay clear of him and to not, in any way, antagonize him since he had been known to hold a grudge.

Malcolm laughed softly. "Well hurry up then."

Remus sighed and knelt down near his shoes, the piece of cloth in his hand. He would complain to the teachers but he could not afford to antagonize his peers in the first week itself. He hoped they would leave him alone soon. Then something caught his eye.

Someone had got a hold of his bag. Color drained from his face.

"Give that back!" he shouted, jumping to his feet, but the back of his robes were held by one of the burly Slytherins. Apparently, a willing victim wasn't very fun.

"Give that back, it has important stuff in it."

The Slytherin smirked and thrust his hand inside the bag, rummaging around. He pulled out a book.

"Well what's this? A muggle book?"

Remus did not look up. "It was a …gift."

The Slytherins laughed. "Senti, are we?"

Remus could feel the burning humiliation but he could not do anything as first years had not been taught any real hexes yet. Besides, he did not want to get into trouble.

"Hey," a dark, rich voice called out. "What's happening here?"

All the boys turned around to see a tall, dark haired boy leaning calmly against a pillar. Malcolm immediately released Remus and turned pale. The boy holding Remus hissed "Sirius Black…."

Malcolm scowled.

"Fuck off, Black, this doesn't concern you."

The boy smirked. "I think it does. Is that a gryffindor you have there?"

Malcolm grabbed Remus's arm roughly. "Yeah, what of it? You gonna do something about that?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Me? What could I possibly do?"

Malcolm's friends were all looking to their leader, looking worried and uncertain. One of them touched his hand and whispered something. Malcolm wrenched his hand of irritably. Sirius smirked.

"What's the matter? Your crony scared?"

"Black, I'm warning you. Stay out of this, it doesn't concern you."

Sirius got off the wall and faced them – casual and wandless.

"Leave him, Malcolm," he said softly but it was clearly an order.

Malcolm gripped the boy's arm harder, apparently debating with himself. Remus winced as he held too hard.

Black was looking at him mockingly. "Malcolm, I will not say it again. Be a good dog and do what I'm saying."

Remus gasped. Just who did this boy think he was, ordering a senior around like that? He couldn't have been much older than Remus himself. Did he want the crap beaten out of him by this burly Slytherin?

Apparently, Malcolm didn't appreciate the insult. He turned his wand on the dark haired boy. Quick as a flash, the boy had drawn his wand and Malcolm was on the ground on his knees, wand knocked out of his hands. Gritting his teeth, he tried to get up but could not get his legs to obey him, Black's curse holding him on the ground.

Sirius walked casually to the kneeling boy. Malcolm's friends seemed too scared to react, now that their leader was down. Black stopped a few feet in front of Malcolm's face. He raised his head up, looking carefully at him, Malcolm's eyes burning with rage. Without breaking contact, Black glanced once at the surrounding burly Slytherins.

"Get lost."

They jumped as if they'd been burned and hurried away. Black turned his attention back to Malcolm, staring steadily into his eyes.

"You…you will watch and learn."

He strolled towards Remus, who was watching the scene play out quietly. Sirius grabbed him deftly by his waist and in one swift movement, brought their lips together in a sure kiss. Remus, too shocked to realize just what had happened, gasped and Sirius thrust his tongue into the other boy's mouth. This galvanized him into action and Remus attempted to push the boy away. He could feel Black smirk as his attempts were ineffectual, Sirius's stronger, bigger build easily overpowering Remus's thin, weak one.

He pulled away, still holding him possessively by the waist. "What's your name, kid?"

Remus was furious but he didn't want to start anything in front of the Slytherin.

"Remus Lupin."

Sirius looked amused. "Hmm…you're not bad looking…I think you'll make a good toy, Remus Lupin."

Remus narrowed his eyes. "I don't know who the hell you think you are but I am nobody's toy. Don't you dare lay a hand on me again.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I'm impressed. You've got spunk. Yes, I'll definitely make you mine."

Before Remus could reply, Sirius turned to the Slytherin on the floor.

"You let the whole castle know that Remus Lupin belongs to Sirius Black."

Then he smiled darkly and Remus saw the Slytherin swallow nervously.

"If I see you or any of your minions lay a hand on him again, you'll be sorry."

He pointed his wand at him and Malcolm winced as the spell was lifted. Then he got to his feet unsteadily.

"Now go," Sirius ordered and with one, last resentful look at the two, Malcolm left.

Remus turned towards Sirius to protest but Sirius flashed him a brilliant smile and was gone. Remus quickly collected his things and headed back to the gryffindor common room.

* * *

"Argh! You guys won't believe what happened to me today," he announced to his friends who raised questioning eyebrows.

"Malcolm tried to rag me."

His friends gasped in concern and outrage. "What happened? Are you alright?"

Remus nodded, plopping down into a chair. "Yeah, there was this boy who chased him off."

Remus's best friend Peter looked at him disbelievingly. "Chased of Malcolm? _The _Malcolm, notorious bully of the school?"

Remus nodded. "I know. I was as shocked at you guys. And the way he talked to Malcolm and his buddies…" he shuddered. "He's got a lot of guts."

All his friends were staring at him now. "Someone was disrespectful to Malcolm?" Alice asked hesitantly.

Remus laughed. "Disrespectful? He called them dogs!"

Again, gasps of disbelief.

"Who was this boy, Remus? Did you find out?"

Remus shrugged. "Dunno…some jerk. His name was Sirius Black."

Everyone went very quiet. He looked from one to the other.

"What? Who is he?"

"You don't know who _Sirius Black_ is?" Peter demanded.

Remus shook his head.

Peter rolled his eyes.

"He is only the richest, most powerful student at Hogwarts! The heir to the Black family fortune!"

Remus frowned. "Black family?"

Peter banged his head on the back of the armchair. "You don't know the Black family?"

Remus was getting irritated. "Well I haven't spent my whole life with wizards, you know! How would I know? Hell, I only found out this year that there _is_ such a thing as wizards!"

Alice and her friend Mary were shaking their heads in disbelief.

"Remus, the Black family is the most powerful pureblood family in the wizard world. Sirius Black is not only the heir to the family but he is also ace quidditch player, brilliant student and resident Prank Master of Hogwarts along with James Potter."

Alice raised an eyebrow. "You do know who James Potter is, right?"

Remus looked at them sheepishly. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Only _the_ best seeker Hogwarts has seen in a century and the second Prank Master of Hogwarts. Sirius Black's best friend. Those two effectively rule the school."

Remus frowned. "But- how can he just talk like that to someone like Malcolm?"

Lisa, Alice's friend was giving him an incredulous look. "Do you not _get_ how powerful this guy is? He can say anything to anyone and get away with it!"

Remus turned slightly pink and avoided her eyes. Lisa's eyes narrowed.

"What?"

Remus looked away. "Eh…it's nothing…"

Lisa rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, Remus, you know me better than that by now. What is it?"

Remus turned even pinker. "He- he kissed me." He took a deep breath. "Sirius Black kissed me and he told Malcolm to tell the whole castle that I'm his property." He looked around at his friends' shocked faces. "Guys? What do you think that means? I mean, I should definitely report him, right?"

Alice made a strangled sound in her throat. "Report him? Are you crazy? Do you know how many boys – and girls- would _kill_ to be in your place?"

Remus looked at her blankly. "What? Why?"

Lisa clicked her tongue irritably. "Because Sirius Black is gorgeous and perfect and it is _totally_ hot that he wants you."

Peter nodded turning slightly pink. "She's right. Even…e-even I would be flattered by that."

Remus gave him a disgusted look. "What? Are you out of your mind? He called me his _toy!_"

Lisa sighed ecstatically. "Oh man, you are so lucky!"

Remus got up irritably. "You guys are crazy. I'm going to bed."

* * *

**A/N: **Review please! Ideas and suggestions welcome!


	2. Of Secrets and Lies

**A/N:** Big apology for this very late update. A very big thank you to whose reviews inspired me to continue this story –

Booklover00, wolf2q, kitty, GenaAmie, Christina, ALICE, Icywingsoffire, moonbeard, randy13, ONIX-21, Kellisina, Jeagerjaques615, KaiiDee23, lady love, Lykanthrope, BlueTopaz21, fan girl 666, Alice

I had hit a writer's block here and you guys kept me going. Thank you very much! ^_^ I hope you like this chapter.

This chapter is actually dedicated to **Alexandra** who told me that she checked daily for an update on this story. I could definitely not keep you waiting after that ^_^ I'm really glad you liked this story and I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

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**Chapter 2 – Of Secrets and Lies**

The next day, for Remus, was very weird. Up until now, he had been the oddball of the class – the weird kid who always sat in the front row. He was not very extroverted by nature and other people made no effort to come and speak to him. But today, random people smiled at him. He returned the smiles rather unsurely. When he sat down in his usual place, some kids from the back made it a point to come and sit next to him and begin small talk with him. He answered back politely but rather awkwardly.

At the end of the class, some kid even offered to do his homework for him – an offer which he politely but firmly refused. Janine, the most popular girl in his year so far, came to tell him that he looked cute that day. Remus turned bright red and stuttered a thanks which he did not think she heard. Flashing him a small smile, she left to join her friends and immediately began giggling with them, all of them glancing at him occasionally.

The students were more restless than usual and, for some reason that he could not understand, the professors gave him, by turns glaring and pitying looks. Remus was not used to being the centre of attention like this, especially since he didn't know what he had done. Peter did not sit next to him in class, preferring to go to the back benches so he had not yet had the opportunity to ask him what the hell was going on.

This was the last class of the day – potions. Professor Slughorn was finishing his lecture on the dangers and properties of the potion they had made that day. Remus stared at him in concentration, taking down notes. It seemed important for the exam and he was damned if he forgot any of it.

"Professor Slughorn," came a voice from the doorway. Everyone turned.

It was the same dark haired boy from before – Sirius Black, he remembered. Some of the girls squealed and even a few of the boys blushed. Slughorn was smiling serenely at him. "Yes, Sirius? What is it?"

Sirius flashed a charming grin. "May a borrow Remus Lupin for a while, professor? I need his help with something."

Remus gasped in outrage. The nerve of that boy! And in Slughorn's class too! There was no way the shrewd old teacher was going to fall for that!

"Of course, of course…take him…"

Some of the students sniggered at the rather unfortunate wording. Remus turned bright red and Sirius smiled wickedly.

"But-" Remus protested.

Slughorn smiled genially. "No buts, young man." Once again, the class sniggered.

Sirius turned in a billowing of black robes. Some of the girls sighed. Shoulders slumping dejectedly, Remus followed Sirius out of the classroom.

* * *

"What do you want?" Remus snarled, stopping dead in his tracks once they were outside the Gryffindor house portrait hole. Sirius also stopped and turned, giving him an innocent look. He gave the password to the Fat Lady and held the door open for Remus

"What do you mean? Aren't you glad to be out of that boring lecture?"

Remus looked at him, confused. He walked through the door, glancing back at Sirius. Why was he being so nice?

"Well yes but I missed the notes and-"

Sirius smiled captivatingly. "Don't worry. I'll help you with them if you want."

Remus stared at his stormy, light grey eyes and felt himself blushing. Where was the crude, brash boy from yesterday who had forced himself on him? This new Sirius was a perfect gentleman. Remus felt baffled.

"Umm, thanks, I guess…"

Sirius gestured for him to enter the common room and Remus gasped at the sight. It was entirely deserted and in strategic corners, there were candles, their soft glow lighting up the room in a very different way from usual. The gryffindor commonroom was _never_ deserted.

Remus and Sirius headed towards the most coveted armchairs near the fireplace that were, by an unwritten rule, forbidden to first and second years when seniors were around.

"Why is the room empty?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged casually, settling down in the armchair. They were rearranged so they faced each other instead of the fire and between them, there was a table with 2 glasses placed on it. Sirius handed one to Remus and took the other himself. Remus cautiously took a sip and was pleasantly surprised to find Madame Rosemerta's finest butterbear.

"How did you get this?" he demanded.

Sirius smiled mysteriously, as he took a sip from his own glass and held Remus's eyes over the glass.

"I have my ways."

Remus, to his chagrin, blushed and looked away, quickly lifting the cup to drink to try and hide the color on his face. He had blushed more in one day than he had in his entire life.

"What is all this for?" Remus asked bluntly in the end. Sirius put his glass down and met Remus's eyes.

"I have already told you I like you, Remus. I would like to get to know you better."

Remus felt his face flush with anger and embarrassment. "Yeah well people generally do that _before_ they- they _kiss _someone against their will."

Sirius did not look abashed. "Are you saying it wasn't good?"

Remus looked stumped. "Well, I- that is…"

When he reached out to pick up his glass from the table, Sirius caught his hand gently. Remus tensed, but Sirius only held it lightly in his own, leaving Remus free to pull away if he chose but Sirius was being…decent…so Remus decided to give him a chance.

"I would like to get to know you a_ lot _better, Remus."

Remus looked away. "Wh-what do you want to know?"

Sirius caressed the hand in his gently. "Well, for starters, how come you joined Hogwarts so late? Students are generally enrolled in the school at 11 years of age but you must be at least…14?"

Remus nodded tensely. "15." He didn't want to go into this…this problem that he had once a month when he became a beast…a monster…

Sirius didn't say anything, waiting for a reply. Finally Remus answered him.

"I- there were…circumstances. I'm sorry I can't tell you anything more."

Sirius nodded. "I understand."

"What about you?" Remus asked. "You don't look 12 either."

Sirius chuckled softly and Remus couldn't help but think it sounded…good.

"Yes I had to go abroad for…special studies. I returned to England last year. I'm 17."

Remus nodded. "It must be difficult being older than everyone in your grade…being different…"

Sirius shrugged. "Not really. When I was away, I was younger than everybody there." Then he smiled deviously. "Besides, being older has its perks. You get to boss over everybody."

Remus glanced at him disapprovingly. "That's not right."

Sirius smiled rakishly. "I don't really care. It's fun."

Remus didn't approve but he didn't want to nag so he changed the subject.

"So you are already of age…why don't you attend 7th year directly? You said you studied abroad so this course must be very easy for you."

"It is," Sirius told him, "But my family believes that the experience of spending 7 years in Hogwarts is something I must not miss out on. Besides, I'm in no hurry to get a job."

Remus remembered what Peter had said about Sirius being from a super rich family.

"So…do you have any siblings?"

"A younger brother," Sirius replied. "You?"

Remus shook his head. "I'm an only child."

"So then you must be spoilt, eh?" Sirius asked with a wink.

Remus withdrew his hand and sat back. His face fell. "No…not really."

Sirius frowned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it as an offence."

Remus shook his head. "No, it's nothing." He got up.

"Thanks for all this but I think I better get going now. I have homework to catch up on. The classes will be leaving any moment now so people will be coming in."

Sirius didn't tell him that no one would enter the common room if he told them not to. He stood up too and came to stand in front of Remus.

"Alright then, Remus. It was a real pleasure."

He gently caught hold of his right hand and with a graceful bow, brought it to his lips. Remus stared at this old time gallantry. If anyone else had done this, it would have seemed cheesy and down right weird but Sirius did it very elegantly. Remus mused that Sirius must be from a very old, traditional family to still so gracefully follow all these customs. Even his English had a refined accent to it that was very pleasant to the ears.

"Good bye," he said awkwardly, then turned and walked fast towards his dorm, leaving Sirius to stare after him.

* * *

"What happened?" Peter demanded as soon as he entered the dorm.

"What are you talking about?" Remus asked defensively, dropping his bag on his desk. Peter rolled his eyes.

"_Sirius Black_ took you out of class. And you're looking all red and flustered. What did you guys do?"

Remus scowled. "We didn't do _anything_! We- we just talked."

Peter looked quite skeptical. "Talked? Really? Is that why you're blushing so much?"

"I'm not blushing!" Remus shouted. "It's the butterbeer!"

Peter raised an eyebrow, getting more comfortable on the bed, taking a pillow on his lap and propping his elbows on it. "Butterbeer? Black got butterbeer?"

Remus half nodded, half shrugged, rummaging around in his bag for his notes, getting ready to start on his homework. "Yeah, I dunno where from."

Peter looked at him in disbelief. "Are you kidding me? He can get whatever he wants!"

Remus got irritated. "Would you stop with that already? He can get anything, he can do anything! He's not that different from the rest of us, alright? He's…just a normal guy."

"Just a normal guy, huh?" Peter gave him a crafty look. "So he's no longer a jerk?"

Remus stubbornly remained silent. Peter crowed triumphantly.

"Aahah! Somebody's got a little _crush_ on him!"

Remus turned towards him angrily. "Shut up! I do _not_ have a crush on him! It's just that…maybe he's not so bad…"

* * *

When Sirius returned to his dorm, James was idling around, getting bored.

"Well?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

Sirius shrugged and flopped down on his bed, taking his long coat off and throwing it negligently on a chair.

"I did the candles and butterbeer and gentleman shit."

James nodded, opening his broomstick servicing kit. "Yeah, that always works."

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "Hmmm…we didn't get anywhere."

James smirked. "Sirius Black didn't get any action? You're losin' your touch, bro."

Sirius threw a pillow at him. "Shut it. He bought it, so it's only a matter of time."

James was still smirking. "Hope so, buddy. Or next thing we know, you'll be _faithful_ and shit."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, _sure_. The kid can't be _that_ tough to get into the sack."

James shook his head. "Well you do pick the damnedest ones." Then his eyes dreamy. "Not like my Lils."

It was Sirius's turn to smirk. "Yeah the day Lily Evans goes out with you will be the day Malfoy likes tits."

James laughed. "Or the day li'l Remus begs you for it."

Sirius lay down on his bed, hands supporting his head on his pillows, staring at the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Hey, its _gonna_ happen, you know."

"Oh would you snap out of it, mate?" James finally asked, exasperated. "The bloke's gonna go out with you…jeez, you've never had any trouble with a guy or a girl before."

"Hmm," Sirius replied.

"What's got your panties in a twist this time?" James demanded.

Sirius looked away thoughtfully. "Because Remus Lupin is different…"

* * *

When Remus and Peter headed to the common room, it was once again back to normal. Students were chattering, fighting, working and there was no sign of any candles or butterbeer. Remus decided not to tell Peter about that.

They found relatively comfortable seats near the window and settled down to do their homework. Just as he prepared to get started on his Transfiguration essay, Janine and the other girls who had tried to strike up a conversation with him earlier came by.

"Hi, Remus!"

Remus swallowed nervously. "Uh…hi."

Janine twirled a strand of permed hair between her fingers and smiled, biting her lip.

"So…you left early from Potions today. I hope it was nothing serious."

Remus turned red. "Uh…no, no it was- it was nothing…"

Janine frowned slightly. "But Sirius Black took you away! It must have been _something_ important!"

Remus didn't have the courage to meet her eyes. "Uhh…I- that is…"

Janine's friendliness suddenly froze. She stood very straight. "I see. So it's true." She sneered and Remus drew back in surprise. "_You're _his new toy."

Peter frowned. "Hey, you can't talk to my friend like that!"

Janine threw him a superior glance. "I can talk to him however I want."

Then she gave Remus an appraising look and smiled coldly. "I don't think he'd mind _Sirius _talking dirty-"

"Shut up!" Remus yelled. "I don't know _where_ you heard that but that's _not_ true! I am _nobody's_ toy!"

Janine and her friends laughed. "What, you thought you actually _meant_ something to him? Sirius Black doesn't share but Sirius Black doesn't belong to _anyone_. And surely Sirius can do much better than a scrawny little nerd like _you_."

Against his will, Remus felt tears welling in his eyes but he blinked them away. He was damned if he cried in front of this bitch.

"Get lost," he said through clenched teeth, turning away from them.

Janine flicked her hair over her shoulder and smirked. "Poor Sirius will want some…_real _fun after _you_."

* * *

Remus put his pen down and sat back in his chair. He suddenly felt very tired. What had he been thinking? Black was a well known playboy, the most popular kid in school; Sirius was _that_ boy. And he, Remus, was the nerd, the awkward kid. But that was still ok. The most important thing – he was a _werewolf. _How could he allow himself to hope for any kind of a relationship, let alone with someone like Sirius? How would he explain to his boyfriend why he had to go away every full moon night and how would he explain his various scars and his half-dead appearance?

Remus closed his eyes.

"Peter?"

Peter looked at him in concern. "Yes?"

"Those- those people in class who were talking and smiling at me…was it- was it because of what…Sirius said? They all think I'm his- I'm his _toy_?"

Peter looked at him pityingly. "Yes," he said hesitantly.

Remus didn't say anything. He should have known, he thought. What had he been thinking? That he had suddenly become popular? That he would suddenly lose all his awkwardness?

Is that was Sirius Black really was? Someone who used people? Then what did it matter that most people were quite eager to have a chance to be with any way at all…however he wanted. Yes, of course he was. Everyone knew that. Everyone but him.

And yet.

Stormy grey eyes flashed in his mind, dark hair falling into his eyes with casual elegance.

Yet the something in his eyes had seemed _real._

_

* * *

_

Sirius did not bother going down to the common room that day. He had other more important plans. No, Remus Lupin was not like anyone else he had ever met. Remus Lupin cared nothing for his money or his status. That skinny kid was the only one who had ever stood up to him.

And when he had talked about his past, there was something…something hidden, something painful. Something because of which, he kept himself away from everyone. Something that put a withdrawn, _hunted_ look in his eyes and he was determined to find out what.

Remus Lupin may have his own secrets to protect but Remus Lupin was now _his_ to protect and he wouldn't let _anything_ hurt him, not even his past.

* * *

A/N: This chapter has been edited after a reviewer kindly pointed out that there were some errors. I would love to know what you guys thought of it. ^_^


	3. Not Fair

**A/N: **Once again, apologies for a VERY late update. I won't promise an early update now because the next update will also take a while. Seriously, its all you guys who've demanded an update that's kept this story going ^_^ I hope it lives up to your expectations.

**Alexandra** – thanks for sticking with me….I hope you're reading this…sorry I didn't reply to your last message but I was scared to ^.^ Now that I've updated, I will. Hope you like the chappie!

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Not Fair**

"Black, stop following me around!" Remus snarled, whirling around to finally give the irritating boy a piece of his mind.

Sirius turned to look at him in surprise.

"Hey, dude, get over yourself," Sirius told him, running the hand that wasn't in his pockets through his hair. "I'm not following you around."

Remus snorted. "That is the biggest lie I've ever heard! You've been following me since we got here. You drove away Peter and the others, for god's sake! Can't you just leave me alone?"

They were in Hogsmead. This was Remus's first visit to the wizard village and he'd been very excited to be here. This was one of the very few times that first and second years were allowed to visit Hogsmead and everyone in the castle had been immensely excited about coming here. Remus had not known what the fuss was all about until Peter and Lisa had gone on and on about how wonderful it was, finally making Remus count the days to this trip.

And then Black showed up. Remus had seen him _everywhere_ he went. On the High Street, near Gladsrag Wizardwear (Remus would not be caught dead wearing any of the items on display there), Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop… He'd tried to ignore it since he'd stayed away from him so far but when he saw the dark haired boy coming towards him, he'd lost it.

Sirius was giving him an odd look. "Lupin, I just came over to say hi. But if you're so pissed about that, you don't have to talk to me."

Remus turned slightly pink. God, it would be embarrassing if it was just his paranoia talking. He suddenly felt guilty and then angry at Sirius for making him feel guilty.

"Don't give me that!" he hissed. "You've been following me around since we got here. Just-just stop, alright?"

Sirius shrugged. "Whatever."

His face was expressionless and he turned and walked away, without a backward glance. He was hailed by James and others from his gang and they quickly disappeared down the lane.

Remus stared after him miserably. Oh shit…what if he'd been wrong? What if he'd been just so worried about staying away from Black, he'd just imagined him following him around? Besides, the boy hadn't even approached him before and he'd fired him for nothing.

He got a smack from Lisa as soon as Sirius was out of earshot.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed. "Why are you being such a bitch?"

Remus's temper flared. "I'm not being bitch! He just- he's…you guys saw him, right? He was _everywhere _we were."

He quailed under Lisa's glare. "Remus, James, Sirius and about a _million _other students were wherever we were. What the fuck is the matter with you? The entire school is out here!"

Remus turned away. "He's just trying to annoy me. I know it."

Lisa stared at him like he'd grown a new head.

"Remus, in all the time that I've known you, you have never been such a bastard to anyone. I don't care if you've swallowed a bug or you're PMSing. You better apologize to him."

Remus whipped around to glare at her. "I am NOT apologizing to him!"

Lisa stuck her nose in the air and flounced away. "Well then I'm not talking to you until you do."

Remus's mouth fell open. "What? Don't tell me you like him all _that_ much. Wow, Lisa…I knew you thought he was hot but from the sounds of it you'd-"

He fell back a couple of steps as Lisa pushed him, eyes blazing. "Don't you say it, you jackass. Don't you fucking DARE say it! This has got NOTHING to do with him. This has to do with the fact that our friend, who we though was a decent guy so far, is acting like a bitch! God, you could give Janine competition! If you you're not gonna be a decent human being, we have no interest in hanging out with a bastard!"

Peter glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and followed her. "Sorry mate," he said, eying him carefully as if he was going to pounce in him any second. "I'm with her on this one."

Remus stuck his hands in his pockets and watched his friends walk away. Well, good for him then! He didn't need them!

* * *

"16 butterbears, please, Rose!"

Remus gritted his teeth at the dreaded voice. Damn it! Why did he have to-

His eyes opened in surprise as Madame Rosmerta appeared in front of Sirius, smiling amicably, with a jug of butterbear in her hand.

The Three Broomsticks was extremely crowded, with people clammering for drinks. Remus had chosen to sit a little way away from the crowd even though it meant waiting an eternity for his drink. The people pushing and shoving each other would obviously get first preference. Sirius had taken a table right next to his, yet, all he had to do was call out and he got served immediately?

"Here you go, dear. Where're your friends?"

"They're coming," he replied. "Had something to do on the way."

"Well, you'll need 15 more chairs then, right?"

"Don't trouble yourself, Rose. We'll take care of it."

Madame Rosmerta beamed at him. "Oh it's no trouble, dear. No trouble at all."

She waved her wand and the table he was sitting at was suddenly much larger. 15 chairs flew towards them from various corners of the room and arranged themselves around the table.

Sirius flashed her a brilliant smile in thanks, apparently not noticing the way she blushed. Remus noticed how more than one senior boys sitting around gave Sirius envious, dirty looks. Madame Rosmerta was very popular and notoriously hard to please.

He scowled and stared at his own drink, feeling awkward sitting alone. He was an idiot, fighting with his friends on such a great day and ruining the fun. It was all Sirius Black's fault!

He glanced cautiously at him out of the corner of his eyes. Sirius was busy with his drink, seemingly not looking at him at all but Remus was not fooled. He'd been doing this all day.

Well, fine then. He wasn't going to acknowledge him either. If his treacherous friends decided to abandon him at a prime moment, he didn't need them! He'd…he'd just watch…other people…having drinks. Yes, other people who were far more interesting than Sirius Black.

He let his gaze travel the length of the bar. There in the corner was the fat guy with his pants tied low around his waist, beer belly bulging out of his shirt. And now he was taking his free hand back and scratching his butt…ok moving on.

There were the professors chatting and laughing about something, with Hagrid's voice drowning out the rest.

There was a gaggle of beautiful older girls in surprisingly revealing robes, giggling and throwing looks at…he followed their line of sight…Sirius Black. Ugh. Well, anyway, he was sure they were supposed to wear more than _that _under their robes.

He glanced surreptitiously at Sirius. He seemed to be enjoying the attention. Sirius raised his glass of beer slightly and winked at them. The next moment, Madame Rosmerta's assistant appeared at the girls' table with a tray full of drinks for the ladies, gesturing slightly towards Sirius. The girls squealed and wriggled trying to use their…assets…to their best advantage. Remus saw Sirius giving them an appreciative look and turned his own eyes away in disgust.

What the hell was he trying to pull? One moment, he was courting him, the next moment, he was leering at a bunch of sluts?

He got up suddenly, slammed his drink down and left the bar, unaware of dark gray eyes watching him intently.

* * *

An hour later, Remus entered Honeydukes, heart hammering in his chest with excitement. He'd been saving for this visit for a while now and had managed to put aside 6 galleons just for this place. 6 Galleons! He was going to be able to buy so much candy, it would last him long after the other kids' treats were finished.

He'd heard of all the wonderful flavors they sold here. Well! If Peter and the others decided to play matchmaker with him, he was damned if he shared any of his treats with them.

He looked around, eyes shining with delight. He's always had a sweet tooth, ever since he was a kid but this! There was literally ever kind of flavor available here.

He quickly picked out a large bar of chocolate. This was like the bare necessities. Then his hand hesitated. There were 12 different types of plain chocolate alone! And then there was Dark chocolate and milk chocolate…

His mouth watered. He reluctantly put his bar of chocolate back and grabbed smaller bars of different type. When he was done buying chocolate, he had only 2 galleons left.

He chewed his bottom lip, debating between Bertie's every flavor beans and some other equally shady sounding candies. He grabbed a pack of the beans, some liquorice wands, sugar quills and – was that cockroach cluster?

He saw the coins in his hands. He barely had a few knuts left. He'd have to let the cockroach clusters wait till next time…

"Master Back," the smiling owner called out and Remus's sweet mood was instantly soured.

"Flume," Sirius greeted with a smile. "I hope Gertrude is doing well?"

Flume nodded. "Yes, quite, thank you. And what will you have today?"

Sirius made a sweeping gesture with his hands. "Some of everything, as usual of course."

Remus's eyes bulged out of his head and it took every ounce of his will to not turn around and stare at him. Everything? There were hundreds of items in this shop…there was no way a student would have that much money.

"Of course," Flume beamed. "I have your parcel ready right here."

He brought out a beautifully packed basket full of candies and showed it to Sirius. "With a few extra dark chocolate bars, compliments of the shop. I will have it sent to your dorm."

Remus was ashamed of the bitter jealously rising in his chest. Delivered? Fucking prince Sirius wouldn't even have to carry a basket of _candy_? He would get it _delivered_ to his room?

Sirius nodded. "Thanks. How much is it?"

"57 Galleons, 39 sickles, Master Black, but it's just 57 Galleons for you."

Sirius laughed. "That's very generous of you, Flume."

A sugar quill in Remus's hands snapped. 57 galleons….Sirius spent 57 _galleons_ in a sweet shop?

Sirius brought out a heavy looking pouch. "Here's 60 Galleons."

Flume shook his head. "I can't, Master Black. You always-"

"Shut up," Sirius told him. "You should not argue with your customers."

Flume bowed his head. "Thank you. I-"

Sirius waved him off. "Give my regards to Gertrude." He turned and left without a word to Remus.

Remus looked at the bag of sweets in his hands that suddenly looked pitifully small and quietly removed the liquorice wands and a few bars of chocolate. He suddenly was not in the mood to eat any of it. There was a bitter taste in his mouth.

* * *

He walked around by himself for a while, ruminating. Evening had fallen and the first stars were appearing in the sky. Hogsmead was lit up beautifully with lights. He saw everyone laughing with their friends, having fun and felt miserable.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sirius Black and his friends entering Zonko's joke shop, talking and laughing. He stared at them, suddenly feeling as if he was the one stalking Black. His friends were right. He really had been very mean to him when Sirius had only tried to be friendly. It was time he apologized.

* * *

Remus waited for half an hour before Sirius and his friends walked out of Zonko's joke shop. He swallowed nervously, dreading approaching the boy in the midst of his friends. They were the cool kids- the popular gang that nerds had no business talking to. He hoped they wouldn't make fun on him or anything. Dammit, he hated doing this!

But it _was_ his fault so he had to go fix this. He walked up to them and stopped a little distance away, nervously shuffling his feet.

"Er…Sirius?"

Sirius didn't turn around. Maybe he didn't hear him. The people in the gang were talking and laughing loudly and no one took notice of the small, nerdy kid, standing there nervously.

Remus flushed red. Damn, this was awkward. Was Sirius ignoring him, or did he really not hear? He cleared his throat.

"Hey Sirius!"

Once again, Sirius, who was in the middle of his gang of friends, didn't hear but another boy in the gang did. He tapped Sirius's shoulder and jerked his thumb at Remus. Sirius immediately stopped laughing and looked at him inquiringly. Remus looked at his shoes, unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Ummm…sorry…can I talk to you for a minute?"

Sirius stared at him, and for a moment, Remus thought he was going to snub him Then-

"Sure," he turned to his friends. "You all go ahead. I'll meet you at the castle."

James grinned at him and herded the others away.

Remus led Sirius away down a rather deserted path.

"Hey, Professor McGonagall said we all need to return together. She'll be mad if we-"

"Don't worry about it," Sirius told him. "James will tell her you're with me. You won't get into too much trouble."

Remus bit his tongue to prevent himself from giving a scathing reply. So even Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor House, would bend the rules for _Sirius Black_? Then he took a deep breath. He hadn't come to pick another fight.

"Look, I…I wanted to apologize for earlier. I was out of line. Y-you were….you were just being nice and I snapped at you but its just…well, I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Sirius replied easily and Remus looked up in surprise.

"It's alright? That's it? It's alright? You're not mad?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's no big deal but why were you so pissed anyway?"

Remus clenched his fists and began walking again. He glanced up at the moon and his chest tightened in familiar anxiety. The moon was almost a full circle. The night of the full moon was only a few days away. How to tell him now that it was…_that time of the month_ and his emotions were out of sync?

As the night of his transformation got closer, he always got a bit edgy. His…more primitive side overshadowed his rational side, with the result that all those ugly emotions and bad thoughts that he would normally not let himself think got the better of him.

So even though he knew that Sirius really hadn't really done anything, he couldn't help resent him. Really, it wasn't Sirius's fault that the bartender left all her other clients and served him first, that the shopkeepers in sweet chops gave him something extra after his purchases, it wasn't Sirius's fault he was so rich he could probably buy out the entire Honeydukes shop.

But somehow, it rubbed him the wrong way. It wasn't fair that he had to scrimp and save every knut while this boy got to live a life of effortless luxury. It wasn't fair that he had to go through unbearable agony every month, only to be a nameless nobody for the rest of the month, while Sirius Black- perfect, handsome, rich, Black- had the easy life of popularity, respect and flawless health.

He tried to push those thoughts aside but in vain. His heart was racing as he looked at the gorgeous boy standing next to him in the moonlight. Except, in the dark evening with his flowing thick black robes and intense gray eyes, he didn't look like a boy. He looked like a man, and Remus found himself wondering just how much of a man he was under those robes…

He clenched his fists and turned away, unwilling to let _those_ raging hormones rule him right now.

"I-I guess I'm just in a bad mood today."

Sirius frowned at that, but didn't say anything. It really wasn't like Remus to have lashed out like that. And the look on his face just then…

"Hey look…let's go up there."

Remus reluctantly looked around to see where he was pointing. They had walked quite a way away from the main village, without realizing it and now, they were close to-

Sirius looked around in surprise as Remus's face suddenly turned blank.

"No."

"What's the matter? You've gone pale." He turned to look at the old, tumbled down building. "It's probably just a rumor, you know. There aren't really any ghosts in the Shrieking Shack."

Remus turned away and began walking in the other direction.

"I'm getting outta here."

Sirius stared after him, slightly amused. "Hey bet you 5 galleons I could go in there right now."

Remus whirled around. "No!"

Sirius took a step back in surprise at the strength of his reaction.

"You're not fucking going in there, got it?" he demanded.

Sirius frowned. The little good boy first year, swearing?

"Calm down, Remus. What's gotten into you? You really think there are ghosts in there or something?"

Remus looked at him with wild eyes. Ghosts…no he wasn't afraid of ghosts. He was afraid of something much worse. What would Sirius do if he found huge claw marks all over the inside of the shack, everything almost completely destroyed? What would Dumbledore…

"No! Look, please. You can't go in there!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes and stared at him speculatively. The kid seemed genuinely terrified. He shrugged and turned away.

"Fine. I just never took you for such a coward."

Remus's relief was almost palpable. Coward….yes, he could live with that as long as his secret was safe.

Sirius purposely fell behind, watching Remus's retreating back. Remus was acting decidedly weird. Besides being extremely testy, he was even looking a bit pale and peaky. There were dark circles under his eyes.

He found Remus glancing occasionally up at the sky and shivering. Sirius wasn't entirely sure it was because of the cool weather. He frowned and looked up. There was nothing special up there. Why was Remus so frightened? It was just a regular moon, almost full.

He stared.

Almost full…almost a full moon…close to a full moon…

Everyone didn't call him brilliant for nothing. His brain quickly made the connections. The haywire emotions, extreme reactions, the irritability, haggard appearance and a full moon. Was it really possible? There was a young werewolf at Hogwarts…

* * *

**A/N:** Please review, guys and tell me what you think. Constructive criticism welcome. If you have any questions or if you spotted any inconsistencies, do tell. I'll clarify.

Thanks! Tc!


	4. The Day Before

**A/N: **Big thanks to **Sharlie25** who pointed out that somewhere in the last chapter. Remus had his 'head shoved in his pockets' ^_^ That led me to reedit the entire chapter. Btw, I also found 'bear necessities' in there somewhere.. XD…well, I'll try to do better this time.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 4 – The Day Before**

As soon as he got they had got back to the castle, Sirius headed to the Hogwarts library.

It was quite late; he'd had no opportunity to slip away before dinner. After Dumbledore and the heads of the houses had managed to herd the excited, chattering students back to their dorms, Sirius had borrowed James's invisibility cloak and headed for the library.

Just in front of the huge double doors, he threw off the cloak and walked in. He could have walked in with the cloak and no one would have known he had broken the curfew but really, there was no need.

Madame Pince, the notorious vulture-like librarian rumored to prey on students, was reading a copy of the The Daily Prophet. She glanced up at him once, above her glasses, then went back to reading. It was a good thing, thought Sirius as he silently made his way towards the Restricted Section, that the staff at Hogwarts followed the spirit rather than the letter of the law.

He walked right to the end of the line of shelves till he came to the section that contained graphic and brutal information, as opposed the sugar coated, literary language, about various magical creatures. The bookshelves here, partially hidden in shadows though free of dust, were full of dark coloured, elaborately bound books, giving the whole area a menacing look. He let his eyes rove over the titles, then took down a particularly gruesome-looking book on Werewolves.

The book was old, the pages yellowed and on the magnificent, red-leather bound cover, it contained a picture of a wizard undergoing an obviously painful transformation. Yes, this was the book he remembered reading sometime during his years abroad.

In his opinion, the syllabus at Hogwarts contained shamefully vague and superfluous knowledge, compared to where he'd come from. Even Durmstrang taught their students more realistically than Hogwarts, which insisted on a very…_academic_…education. Even the fifth-years' information on werewolves was limited to an essay on the symptoms and characteristics of one. There were some things that required a practical knowledge… no amount of books could fully convey the horrors of certain experiences - and one of them was a werewolf transformation.

He opened the book. A cold wind blew suddenly, although the library contained no windows. A faint, ghostly wail of wolves sounded as if from the distance and Sirius smiled grimly at the enchanted book. Madame Pince really went all out to deter students from reading these, didn't she? Taking his wand out of his pocket, he waved it once over the book, temporarily binding the charms so that they didn't disturb him while reading. At any other time, he would have found the spell funny but right now, he needed to concentrate fully on the task at hand.

He flipped through the pages till he came to the section on the signs before the transformation. He scanned through them- the person's appearance before the transformation. It all fit, right down to the changes in mood. Of course, the symptoms were not definitive – Remus could just as easily be ill or not have had proper sleep but the fear that had crossed his face when he looked at the moon was unmistakable... Sirius's face hardened. He had seen that same fear before, many times, but only on the faces of those who were condemned to undergo the horrific torture of the moon for the rest of their lives.

The Black family heir lost track of time as he poured over the pages listing the characteristics of a werewolf, the stages of the transformation and the horrifying pain involved. The night wore on as Sirius stared at the moving, silent pictures of the man turn into a wolf.

_But that's still a man,_ Sirius thought, jaw tight. _What about a boy?_

When he finished with that book he took down others, looking for as much information on the subject as possible but it was not enough. Everything listed was very subjective and most of the information was from those who had interviewed individuals who were werewolves but at the time when they were human. There was no mention of what happened to the person when they turned wolf. The humans did not remember anything except vague memories as to what happened to them during the full moon night.

And the worst part was, there was no cure. There was nothing that could make the transformation or the pain of it easier. The usual painkillers could not be used as they mostly worked by blocking the signals of pain emitted by the bodyparts to the brain. But blocking them during the transformation was very dangerous as there had been instances where the person had got stuck in the middle of transformation. The book showed vivid images of the half man, half wolf, stuck in between the transformation, face tortured in unbearable agony.

Sirius closed the last book and sat down, leaning against a shelf and closed his eyes. It was close to dawn now. He had sat here all night but that did not even occur to him. He doubted Remus's friends knew about this. The little rat-like boy Peter and the two giggling girls did not look like they could stomach such a secret. What must it be like for him to go through that alone? To hide such a secret from everyone?

Sirius opened his light gray eyes and frowned.

Come to think of it, how did he hide it from the rest of the school? Obviously, Dumbledore knew about it, but he could not possibly leave Hogwarts every month. That would be very conspicuous. Where did he go each month on the night of the full moon?

* * *

The following day, Remus looked even more peaky than usual. Sirius noticed worriedly that even his way of walking had changed. He shuffled his feet and walked with a slump. There was a perpetual pained grimace on his face and Sirius began to be all the more convinced of his earlier theory.

Sirius saw Peter and Lisa giving him cautious glances and generally staying away from him.

"Hey,"

Peter jumped about a foot in the air and let out an undignified squeak. When he turned around to frown at whoever had startled him, his voice stuck in his throat.

"S-Sirius…"

"Hi Peter," said the Black heir, smoothly falling into step with the shorter boy. "I wanted to ask you something."

Peter thought he nodded but her could not be very sure. The only coherent thought going through his head was _Sirius Black is talking to me!_

"Uhh..sure…"

Sirius threw a casual arm around his shoulders and leaned down so his mouth was in line with Peter's ear. All Sirius had intended to do was to make sure they weren't overheard but Peter's face lit up like a torch.

"How old are you, Peter?"

Peter whipped his head around to stare at Sirius as much as he could while in the other's hold.

"Wh-what?" he stammered, heart hammering.

Peter noticed how Sirius's dark lashes were lowered over his stormy grey eyes that bore deep into his own.

"Answer me," Sirius ordered and Peter swallowed, throat suddenly dry.

"I-I'm f-fourteen."

Sirius drew back a little. "14. So you've known Remus for…how long?"

Peter's eyes widened as he stared at him for a moment, then he looked away quickly to hide the bitter disappointment on his face.

"About, I dunno, ten years or so, I guess. Why?"

Sirius drew his arm away, unaware of the jealousy on Peter's face. "Nothing important. I was just wondering. He's looking a bit…ill today. Anything wrong?"

Sirius was trying to be careful enough so as not to alarm him if he didn't know anything but he needn't have bothered. Peter's attention was not on anything aside from the fact that this dashing, charming boy's attention was wasted on his grouchy, loner of a friend.

"No, no he's just…not feeling well, I guess."

Sirius nodded shortly, then clapped him on the shoulder. So he really didn't know. Peter had known him what, most of his life? And he didn't know. He'd never bothered to find out. Sirius felt an irrational surge of anger towards the daft boy standing in front of him. So this was friendship, was it?

"Thanks," he said distractedly and walked away, leaving Peter to stared after him with strangely longing eyes.

* * *

The History of Magic class, taught by the only ghost professor, was usually enough to kill one of boredom but it was very convenient for Lupin when it was one of those days.

It felt great to have his heart slow down. Professor Binns' droning voice, which generally put him to sleep, today calmed him considerably. The day before the transformation was always very difficult with his body preparing for the coming changes, responding to the moon in a very primal way, like wolves did. Only thing was, human bodies were not _supposed_ to respond to the moon, at least not in this way, and the mixture of wolf and human signals crossed over, making him a very cranky person. It was far too dangerous, on too many levels to provoke a werewolf close to a transformation. Fortunately, Peter and Lisa had soon figured out that they needed to stay away from him when he was being this way and the rest of the class anyway considered him too weird to bother interacting with him. Besides, he was sure he did not make a very inviting picture, looking the way he did.

Remus let his head fall on his hands on the desk and allowed his eyes to shut. He could feel the coarse material of his uniform sleeves on his cheeks, the slight, lingering smell of whatever the houselves used to wash the clothes, not detectable by the human nose.

He sighed, relishing the sensation of peace. His senses, on these days, were hyper alert to any danger, maybe due to some deeply programmed wolf thing, and consequently, he overreacted to every small stimulus, snarled at unsuspecting people and, had to be very careful not to do something violent. Human senses, however, were not meant to be that alert for longer than a few minutes and it was like being on an adrenaline high for 24 hour; when it ended, it was exhausting. Strangely, Professor Binn's was the only class where he could genuinely relax a little.

"Mr Lupin, can I see you for a minute?"

He jerked upright at the voice, even though he hadn't really been sleeping.

Nodding hesitantly, he and got up to follow professor McGonagall out of the History of Magic class. He kept his head down as he walked, aware of the entire class's eyes on him.

Peter followed his friend with worried eyes. For the past couple of days, Remus had been looking pale and sickly; he'd even missed a few classes since he was not feeling well.

_I hope McGonagall doesn't give him a very hard time,_ Peter thought.

* * *

Remus sat in front of Professor McGonagall in her office, staring miserably at the bowl of ginger biscuits on her desk.

"Tonight's the night," Professor McGonagall began. Remus nodded quietly, every line in his body tensed. "Have you decided what you're going to tell your friends?"

The would-be werewolf took a deep breath.

"I-I'll tell them I have to visit my sick aunt."

Professor McGonagall's face was stern and expressionless as usual but her eyes softened as she looked at the thin, sickly boy in front of her.

"Won't they get suspicious if your aunt always seems to falls sick on the new moon?"

Remus shrugged listlessly. "They…they're not very sharp about stuff like that. I'm sure they're not keeping track."

McGonagall nodded. "Well, your usual bed in the hospital wing will be kept ready. You know the procedure. Go to the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey will be there to escort you to the hidden bed."

Remus nodded, fists clenched in his lap. Professor McGonnagal's eyes dropped once to his hands and then she turned away.

"You will be excused from classes for a day or two after, in case you need to recuperate. If there is anything else, tell me."

Remus nodded and got up to leave.

"Mr. Lupin?"

Remus turned with his hand on the door knob. "Yes, professor?"

"I hope you remember how to still the Whomping Willow?"

Remus nodded. "Press at the heart of it with a long stick."

McGonagall nodded once. "Be sure to maintain a good distance from it. Follow the path into the Shrieking Shack. Leave early to make sure you don't transform on the way. The passageway is not big enough to contain you in your…other form."

Remus's chest tightened. "Yes, professor."

He opened the door and left.

Once he had rounded the corner, Sirius Black stepped out of thin air as he threw off the invisibility cloak.

"A secret passageway in the Whomping Willow," whispered to himself. "Not bad, old man."

* * *

"Hey Lupin,"

Remus raised his head, teeth clenched.

"What, Black?"

Really, the dark-haired boy had the _worst_ timing!

It was nearing sundown. Remus had been just about to get up and slip off to the whomping willow after giving some excuse to his friends when the idiot of a boy had called out to him.

"I need you to help me with something," Sirius grinned as he stepped out of his dorm and walked casually towards the soon-to-be werewolf. Remus and a few other students were the only ones in the common room. Peter and Lisa had made their excuses and were now nowhere in sight. They meant well, really, the two of them. Once, Lisa had tried to insist she take care of him when he was 'sick'. Remus had protested but she had been adamant. When he tried to leave, she'd caught his arm and attempted to drag him away. Remus's wolf side had felt cornered and threatened and he'd lashed out, throwing the shocked girl half-way across the room. She'd made sure not to push him after that.

Remus also got out of his armchair and sighed, a part of him glad for the distraction from his gloomy, anxious thoughts about the night to come.

"What do you want?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow at the rude question. Remus frowned, eyes glued to the wand he was twirling between his fingers. His senses were tingling; there was something wrong about the way Sirius was looking at him.

"Nothing much. I was wondering if you could help me out with an assignment. Would you mind coming to my dorm for a bit?"

Remus looked at him searchingly. "Uh..no I can't tonight, sorry. Gotta go."

He closed the book in his hand and placed it on his armchair, then prepared to leave. Sirius took a step closer to him.

"Oh come on, Remus. I know you guys don't have too much homework to do today; Peter told me so. He's fooling around outside, on the grounds."

Sirius's eyes pierced into his.

"Come to think of it, why aren't you outside too, Remus? With Peter and the girls?"

Remus unconsciously took a step back, swallowing nervously. "I- I told you I have something to do. I'm sorry I can't help you. If you'll excuse me…"

Sirius suddenly stepped forward and blocked his path, hands outstretched. "Alright I lied," he said abruptly and Remus's eyes widened. He stumbled back a few paces.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"I don't need help with a project," Sirius clarified. "The reason I wanted you to come with me to my dorm, was because…I had to ask you something."

Remus's heart thudded with fear. No…no it couldn't be….Sirius couldn't possibly have figured it out that quickly….no way…

"Ask?"

"I hadn't meant to do it like this but-" Sirius shrugged slightly, then stepped close to him, all the while holding his gaze. "Will you go out with me?"

Remus stared at him blankly for a second, and when the words registered, his relief was almost palpable. He was…Sirius was asking him out….that was all…he wasn't…he didn't…

Pushing aside the unexpected pain in his heart, Remus turned away from him, smiling bitterly.

"Oh. I'm…sorry. I can't."

"Why not?"

Remus's hands clenched into fists at his side, shoulders rigid with anger and helplessness. "Look I- it's complicated. Just…you're an awesome guy, Sirius, and I'm sure you'll find someone better than me…"

"Yeah," Sirius agreed and Remus's eyes narrowed in anger at the boy's arrogance. "But I don't want anyone else. I want you."

Remus's lips thinned into a tight line. He was about to retort when his gaze fell on the swiftly darkening sky outside. His eyes widened in panic and he moved towards the door without turning back to look Sirius, knowing that if he looked, he would stop and he couldn't afford to do that right now.

"I have to go," he said abruptly and headed swiftly towards the door. It was not fair…that it had to end this way. Remus remembered Sirius holding his hand during their candlelit dinner, Sirius pulling him close and kissing him, Sirius under the moonlight in Hogsmead. Despite what he'd thought of the arrogant boy that first night, Remus's opinion of Sirius had changed during the past few days. The persistent, annoying, stinking rich brat had grown on him somehow, and he would have liked to continue their relationship, see where it headed but it could not end any other way. It was really too bad.

Then he reconsidered his charitable thoughts as Sirius whispered something and Remus suddenly found his arms bound to his side, rooted to the spot.

"What the hell Black!" he snarled, really snarled, wolf very close to the surface as the sun dipped lower in the sky.

"Tell me why," Sirius said calmly, as if they were just having a normal conversation, as if he hadn't just hexed the fleeing boy.

Remus looked around wildly, considering shouting for help, but the common room was empty. He and Sirius were the only ones left. Remus grit his teeth; wimpy, no good gryffindors…

He turned back towards the irritating boy.

"Sirius, just- just please don't bug me today, alright? My temper's a bit short, I've got a lot on my plate right now…just don't."

Sirius held the charm as Remus tried to struggle. "Why not?" he asked quietly. "I know there's no one else. In fact, you've never been in a relationship before at all. Then what is the problem?"

Remus ground his teeth. "I have too been in a relationship before!"

Sirius waved a hand dismissively. "Two weeks with a buffoon doesn't count."

Remus's eyes flashed. "Ryan was not a-" then his eyes narrowed. "How do you know about that?"

Sirius grinned cheekily. "I have ways."

Remus struggled again, staring despairingly out the window. Dammit! He wasn't even carrying his wand because it was not safe during the transformation to carry it. He might do some dangerous magic, irreparable harm to himself or others.

"Whatever…just…just look, I can't, alright? Not right now, not tonight. Look I have to be somewhere I…it's getting late, I have to go."

Sirius didn't budge, just stared at him steadily.

"Look, I-I'll go out with you after a couple of days alright? Once I-once I come back. We'll give it a shot. But I have to go…please…"

His voice dropped to a pleading whisper.

"You know," Sirius said conversationally. "You're a terrible liar."

Remus's head shot up, eyes wide, face pale. "Wh-what a-are you t-talking about?"

"Trip to visit your aunt? Really? That's the best you could come up with?"

Remus's heart was thudding wildly in his chest.

"T-that's not a lie! I'm-that's really where I'm going!"

Sirius laughed mockingly and Remus was suddenly enraged. He wanted to tear at that smug face, laughing so condescendingly at him.

"Shut up."

Sirius stopped laughing, hearing the hoarse order. Remus's head was lowered and his bangs were covering his eyes.

"You…you think you know everything, but you don't. You don't know about…about being something you never wanted to be...about knowing that you will be that for the rest of your life…"

And Sirius was abruptly hovering over him, brushing thin, wispy bangs out of his face with a slender, pale hand.

"Is it hard? Being who you are…what you are…"

Remus's heart stuttered to a stop for a brief second.

_This is it,_ he thought in a strangely detached manner. _He knows…Sirius Black knows…it's over…my secret is out…I'll have to leave Hogwarts…._

"I-I don't…what are you-"

But the sentences wouldn't form. The words wouldn't come out of his throat.

And when Sirius released him from the spell, Remus sped off as fast as he could with the echo of that dreaded word echoing in his ears

_Werewolf…_

He didn't notice the pair of steely eyes staring after him and for a brief second, Sirius's eyes flashed wild and savage - canine.

* * *

**A/N:** Next chapter: The Transformation. Review, folks, and tell me what you thought ^.^


	5. Monster

**A/N: ***peeks out from under covers* Umm…don't kill me please? *blinks innocently* Big apology for the loooooooooonnnnng wait. Thank you all so much for reading this story and sticking with me.

Thank you to my reviewers of chapter 4** - Little-pixie-19, ItachiMer, hardcore-muffins, Ghost, number1sasunarufan, romanisan, Star-Struck Inu, Mystery, EygptianFireFly, Bizerko-Kittykins, Lionel, Isolated Mind, Anon, Lizzy0308, fan girl 666, Remchlomany, LoveForTheKittens, HPJellicleCat, imSiriuslyLupin4you, The Truth's Lie, luck-life.**

And also my reviewers of the first three chapters - **SleepingBeast, sharlie25, melissaheartsanime, Miss Pessimistic, number1sasunarufan, RacingShadows, .FaSt, fan girl 666, Puffy1505, Alexandra2812, luck-life, wolf2q, anonymous, PrettyPieceOfFlesh, nininha, yayzerzz i can haz squip, Pats, One of the Colorless, hunterofartemis109, Kit21, Twilight4everTDI2, LyssaLaughable, Hepzheba, Padfoot's Blondie, kitty, ONIX-21, Lykanthrope, syron, Kitty Sorceress, Booklover00, GenaAmie, Christina, ALICE, Icywingsoffire, moonbeard, randy13, Kellisina, Jeagerjaques615, KaiiDee23, lady love, BlueTopaz21, Alice.**

**I hope you are all still reading this.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 5 - Monster**

Without once looking back, Remus fled.

Damn Sirius… for evoking emotions he had sought never to feel again. Damn him and his storm coloured eyes that always looked at him as though they were reading all his secrets…damn him for finding something out that took him years to hide.

The sun was already low in the sky and in the semi-twilight, no one took notice of the figure in black fleeing through the grounds. Remus's feet automatically took him through the path through the whomping willow into the Shrieking Shack.

By the time he crashed through the deceptively small and frail looking entrance of the shack, tears were gathering at the corners of his eyes. His chest felt heavy and his breaths came in harsh pants but it was not because of physical exertion.

Damn Sirius for whirling up things right before the transformation. A wolf's emotions were so much more volatile than a man's, so much harder to control.

Body trembling, he stumbled to a stop, head bowed under the weight of everything that had happened.

Everything that he had kept bottled up inside for so, so long welled up in him like an irrepressible tide and Remus let his knees hit the splintered wooden floor of the shack. His hands slammed on the wood, clenching air, ragged sobs beginning to burst forth from his throat.

How ironic was it that he, who thought he'd mastered himself, who he thought was immune from the childish allure of friendship and love was taken in by the rich, careless brat who he's thought he despised, who had hundreds of broken hearts at his feet and yet, of all people, he pursued this…this wolf-boy who was all the more fragile for everything that he tried to hold together.

The longing that he hadn't allowed his human heart to feel pulsed through him so powerfully that it was painful. Tightly shut eyes remembered Sirius's alluring smile, Sirius's eyes when he'd held his hand, Sirius's face when he laughed, Sirius's lips as they dominated his own…

There was a ripping sound as Remus's back hunched, wolf muscles bunching under his skin. Painful spasms racked his body as everything that he had held bottled up burned through his veins in protest, making the transformation that much more painful.

Lethal fangs elongated out of his mouth and sliced his lips as he tried to keep them closed.

How sad that the boy he was attracted to wanted him too, except he didn't know what he was asking for. Cool, daring Black probably thought being a werewolf was like having an annoying tic once a month. Did he think he was being gallant, letting him know he knew his secret and still wanted him? Whatever he had studied and wherever he had been , Sirius Black had no idea what he was dealing with. No amount of books can ever explain what it's like to have a monster inside of you.

Remus's vision cleared and the world came into sharp focus, everything visible clearly even in the dull, moonlight night. Breathing ragged, the werewolf stared around the hated room that he had found himself every time since Remus had come to this godforsaken school. Before that, it had been a dark basement every bit as confining as this, except for the window, except for the moon that hovered tantalizingly in the sky, calling him with her seductive call.

Remus snarled and launched himself onto the walls, eyes bleeding red at the unfairness of it all, of always having the thing he most wanted dangled before his eyes, making him know he could never have it. The wind blew in, bringing with it, the alluring scent of the forest, of home and all Remus could do was gnash his teeth, and claw at the walls of the shack, fortified with magic to hold a werewolf in. This was why wolves were never meant to have human emotions; because they felt everything- joy and distress – physically. Every last regret that Remus had buried in his heart, every longing, every feeling that he had hidden from himself flowed through the veins of the animal that nature had meant to run freely through the night, without ever being bound.

A horse eventually accepted a rider, a dog craved a master but a wolf was meant to live solitary, dependent on no one, strong and free. It didn't help that the human trapped inside of him was too frightened to let the wolf take full control of the body, even after the transformation and Remus's fear made rippling muscles rigid, the wolf warring with the human and destroying the fragile body in the process.

The wolf's arms went around his body in a sad parody of a hug and claws that were meant to rend the flesh of its prey left bleeding gashes in their wake.

Remus's breathing slowed a little as the pain centred his attention, helped him focus his tempestuous mind that he sometimes feared he would lose control of entirely. Pain was better than being driven insane by this monster, by losing himself to this wolf that Remus was sure would like nothing more than to destroy everything it chanced upon; it did a very good job of destroying his own body, after all. It was only right that he was kept captive in this shack where it could not hurt others, those he held dear.

Sirius's face flashed into his mind and his breathing quickened again, pain squeezing his heart again.

Sirius Black, with his laughing eyes, was born into a rose tinted world with a silver spoon in his mouth. Eyes like that could never see the pain of someone who fights who they are, every day of their lives.

A long, hair raising howl pierced the night air as the full moon rose slowly in the sky. The people of the Hogsmead village heard it and scurried to shut their windows. A few, more sensitive ones, stopped what they were doing for a moment, wondering why there was something about that sound that made them want to cry.

The wide, red eyes that appeared wild at first glance, flitted around the room, despair beginning to triumph over anger. Thoughts of death, unable to find an outlet, turned inwards and the wolf clenched it's fists, leaving his palms a bloody mess from the strength of his grip.

The pain cleared his mind a little once again and Remus became aware of his body trembling with the strength of his longing.

Unseeing eyes remembered his father's face when he moved to leave the basement late in the evening after leaving is 7 year old son in there; he remembered calling out to his papa because he was afraid of the dark, creepy basement and he remembered his father's knickles clenching on the doorknob as he turned, a look tortured pity and helplessness on his face.

He remembered the sound of the door shutting, leaving him alone with his demons.

Sharp, thick claws on his forearms brought Remus out of his memories. The wolf knew to create smaller wounds to avoid the greater pain…some memories were far more hurtful than any physical wound.

But it wasn't enough. The memories kept coming, like the valve bursting on a flooded dam.

He remembered smiling shyly up at a blond boy, a few days before the night of the full moon, the first boy he'd had a crush on. He remembered the look of horror and disgust on his face as the boy he'd thought was his friend turned and fled. The boy had whispered fag, unknowing that the part-wolf boy had heard.

-The intense, buoying joy he had felt when he'd gotten his acceptance letter from Hogwarts at age 11, the immense relief knowing he was wanted somewhere, that he would be going to the famed wizarding school, just like his daddy-

-His father's despairing face the acceptance letter in hand, telling him as gently as possible that he probably would not be allowed to go once they found out what he was-

-His father nursing him as he lay close to death on the bed in his room after the full moon night that month, having a dangerous amount of blood from his self-inflicted injuries-

-His father sitting him down and telling him the school had refused him-

-three years spent, trying to get used to the idea that he would be a useless, worthless outcast all his life, unworthy of even a basic education as a wizard.-

- On his 14th birthday, his father's shaking hand as he held another letter from Hogwarts, telling him Dumbledore had requested an audience with the both of them-

-Dumbledore's eyes, reading him as easily as if her were a book-

-the letter from the school on his 15th birthday, telling him he'd been accepted-

-learning to keep away from everyone, shunning the friendship he was so desperate for-

-Sirius standing up for him that day in front of the bullies-

-Sirius protecting him-

-Sirius pulling him close and kissing him-

Remus Lupin tore at his body with sharp claws, snarling helplessly at the moon. Tonight, when his most base urges took over, there was nothing to distract him from all the shadows that he pushed back during his human days. Wolves don't have defense mechanisms, after all. Wolves don't need to be able to distract themselves from the yawning despair within themselves that threatened to consume them. Only humans have to do that.

And now, the boy that was neither tried to hold himself together as pain that he could not ignore became overwhelming. A snarl full of anguish tore his throat and the werewolf, that appeared to be savage and wild and unbreakable hunched over, putting his arms around himself, cutting deep into his skin as he tried to hold himself, wishing despairingly, that they were someone else's arms, knowing deep inside that they would never be.

On the dusty wooden floor of the shack, a few inconspicuous drops fell.

Damn Sirius Black, for making a werewolf cry.

* * *

The night progressed as slowly as usual, every second seeming like an eternity to the werewolf. The moon had yet to reach the highest peak in the sky but Remus already felt like he had endured a thousand battles. His body was torn and bleeding, trembling from pain, bloodloss and the cold night air. The werewolf tried to breathe, tried to remember that it was just one night, that it would end but the thoughts would not form. All that the wolf knew was _now_, this small dark room, the ceiling that seemed about to close in on him, the moon beckoning him, the forest he could see in the distance that he knew he would never reach but so, _so_ wanted to. The darkness of the night was endless, just like the thoughts and feelings churning around in the wolf's head that did not belong to him, that did not fit into his mind, that were driving him insane.

If only Remus were a little less sensitive and a little closer to his base, animal self, but he wasn't. It would probably be easier on both his mind and his body to just let go, to not think so much, to allow things to take their course, to allow himself to forget and move forward in life but that was not Remus.

In his saner moments, Remus wondered why he always clung to memories and feelings that hurt him that made him incapable of going where life wanted to take him, instead of where he wanted to go. When did he become this person who could accept nothing more or less than what he had expected, what he had "planned" even when he knew he would never have it, when he knew there was a big, fat obstacle in the way of all those best laid plans called _werewolf_?

But right now, Remus was not sane enough to think. The pain from the cuts and gashes on his body registered in the wolf's brain as nothing more than a light sting. Blood and injuries, a wolf could deal with. It was part of survival to get injured. His brain would not be alarmed as long as the injuries were not in a dangerous place, so long as there was no danger of them being fatal.

But the pain in his mind was not as easily dealt with. With no escape from the memories echoing in his own head, burning the blood in his veins unpleasantly, the werewolf wondered why his usual remedy – physical pain – was not helping him any. Generally, physical injury –a known sensation, something he could deal with – kept away any thoughts and feelings he was not ready to deal with. It was just as well that there was no one in the room because otherwise, all the injuries the werewolf had inflicted on himself would be inflicted on whoever was unfortunate enough to cross his path. Pain, confusion and fear would take the form of rage, to be unleashed on his prey. It would be less painful, less debilitating for the wolf but not for whatever victim he happened upon.

So far, the werewolf had never caused any injuries that were life-threatening – but then, he had never felt this constant, crushing pain in his chest as if his heart were being squeezed painfully. The wolf did not understand this vague, insistent pain, not caused by a fight or a wound from an enemy but just as painful. Sharp claws landed lightly on his own chest, wondering what would be enough to make it stop. The werewolf stopping this vague phusical pain that seemed to be pulled its claws back and snarled, prepared to tear into his own chest if it meant the end of this strange agony.

Then a dark, heavy something pounced on him, sending him crashing to the floor. Remus snarled, pushing the creature back but it was heavy. In a flurry of limbs, they fought on the creaking wooden floor. The aggression trapped under the werewolf's skin leapt at the chance to take it out on someone else, on something that did not result in pain to itself. The agony and turmoil in his mind were pushed back as the wolf concentrated on doing something it knew, something that it was familiar with – fighting.

The aggressor and the wolf rolled around on the floor, filling the old shack with renewed creaks and moans and snarls. The magic protecting the shack was, fortunately strong enough to hold the both of them, even though there was never meant to be another wild animal in there with a werewolf.

The struggle ended when Remus was pinned on the floor under the aggressor. Teeth bared, Remus looked up at the creature.

Storm grey eyes looked down at him.

Remus lost his breath for a moment, then fought with renewed energy at this creature that dared mock him.

_Remus!_ The black, dog-like creature growled, _Remus, it's me!_

The werewolf stopped struggling. Was his mind playing tricks on him? Could that happen with werewolves?

But the stormy grey eyes above him were not a trick and neither were the far too strong arms pinning him down. Despite the myths to the contrary, a werewolf was actually not much stronger than a normal wolf, except its bite was far deadlier. But animals that could take on a wolf, could take on a werewolf as well. That said, though, wolves were fierce fighters who would fight with everything they had, not allowing themselves to be dominated, sometimes at the cost of their lives.

But Remus's instincts were telling him this wasn't an enemy. The animal's aura was strong and calm and without fear or anxiety, which was entirely wrong if it was just a stray animal that had somehow ended up in the shack. Animals usually stayed away from werewolves. Something that was neither one of them, nor a human was unknown and a little frightening. It was instinctual for animals to keep their distance from something they couldn't judge in terms of strength and intent.

But this – this dog was staring down at him with a rather pleased look in his eyes. Energy now spent, Remus stared up at the creature that had him in its grasp, that could probably kill him if he chose but was just holding him down instead.

_S-Sirius? _Remus growled, unused to communicating with another creature. He had not even known that he could communicate with others, but unless he had completely lost his mind, this creature had just said his name,

_The one and only,_ the dog replied and the werewolf relaxed subtly on the floor where it was pinned. That proved it then. No other creature could match that level of arrogance.

_A werewolf,_ the dog whispered, still staring. _I've never seen one before._ _You look…_

When he trailed off, the werewolf turned its head away, unable to meet Sirius's eyes any longer. He had never expected to be accepted after anyone learnt his secret but then, he had never expected to be caught in this form either. He knew he was terrifying. He knew he was a monster. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt to be ridiculed, especially by this particular person. Taunts about his thin, ungainly frame, his haggard, almost old looks – he had prepared himself to be teased about these things. But this…he didn't think he could bear to look into Sirius Black's eyes and see fear and disgust.

Then a long, wet tongue licked along the side of his face.

The werewolf's eyes widened and he turned hesitant, vulnerable eyes to the dog above him.

The dog was grinning down at him.

_Sirius, _Remus began, a little startled to hear a growl in the place of his usual voice. _Wh-what…how-_

_Later,_ Sirius growled back, loosening his grip on the wolf. _Are you going to attack me again if I let you go?_

Remus looked up at him like he was crazy. _Will you believe me if I say I won't?_

_Yes,_ Sirius told him, turning his head to rub his nose absently on his furry shoulder.

Remus snarled softly up at him, baring his teeth in a weak attempt to remind him that this was a _werewolf _he had pinned under him, not some sort of mischievous puppy.

Sirius snarled back in response taking it to mean he wouldn't, and moved off him, allowing the wolf to roll over and get to his feet. The werewolf stood awkwardly, legs and hands not co-operating with him immediately after the wounds he had inflicted upon himself. He glanced over his body to see what damage Sirius had caused and was stunned to realise it was nothing more than a few bruises that would heal in no time.

He raised his head to the dog standing in front of him, looking calmly at him. It felt bizzare to stand next to another living creature and not feel the urge to cut it to pieces. Not to mention he had never expected to be looked at in this for with anything other than fear or hatred.

_So,_ Sirius began, _What do we do now?_

Remus looked at him uncertainly, shuffling his front paws awkwardly, feeling ridiculously big and weird.

_D-do?_ He stammered. _What do you mean?_

Sirius raised a paw and began to lick the dirt off of it, putting Remus in mind of a cat more than a dog. _You know, for the rest of the night. What do you do?_

Remus stared. 'I claw at my skin and throw myself at the walls till the sun rises' sounded remarkably silly even in his head. The dog did not seem to think twice about the various injuries covering his body and Remus was grateful for that. He did not think he could stand to feel guilt or any of the other roiling emotions that had plagued him the whole night.

_I…don't know, _he answered, glancing around the room nervously. The walls and ceiling no longer seemed like they were closing in on him.

Sirius snorted in response, pattering towards the window, exploring every aspect of the room curiously.

_Aren't you…afraid of me?_ Remus asked hesitantly as Sirius sniffed in a corner, then turned away with a grimace as the dust scattered because of his breath and tickled his nose.

Sirius glanced at him coolly, an arrogant look on his shaggy face. _Afraid of you? Who would be afraid of you?_

Remus felt a little spark of anger at the statement. _Most people wouldn't be stupid enough to come close to a werewolf,_ Remus snapped moodily.

_I figured you must be bored. So I thought I'd keep you company,_ Sirius replied, turning towards him, his tail swishing happily.

Remus snarled, eyes flashing red at the dog's irritating attitude and raised his claws up to Sirius's eyelevel. _You realize I can slice you into little pieces with these…?_

Sirius glanced at them coolly, with smirking eyes. _You couldn't scratch a kitten with those if you tried._

The next thing he knew, Remus had launched itself at him with a roar and they were once again rolling around on the floor snarling and growling but this time, there was no malice in either of their attacks. He could not have said why exactly, but even though he had seen that the dog was far stronger than him, it wouldn't hurt him. Sirius's scent was all over and around him now, from rolling around the floor together and it made him feel safe.

It dimly registered at the back of Remus's mind that the tornado of emotions that had whirled in his mind all night was now quite calm and he felt more at peace with himself, attempting to throw the large dog off of him, than he ever remembered feeling in his life.

* * *

Remus slowly opened his eyes, blinking at the glaring sunlight coming in from the window of his usual bed in the hospital wing. He tried to raise his arms to shade his eyes but found he could not lift them; they were as heavy as lead. Looking down, he saw they were bandaged tightly, blood still seeping from the wounds turning the once white bandages reddish brown.

Attempting to move other parts of his body yielded similar results and Remus turned his head, wincing slightly at his stiff, sore neck, to gauge what time it was. The sun was quite high in the sky so it was safe to presume it was late morning at best. He rested his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, trying to figure out why, for the first time, he felt relaxed and rested instead of exhausted and drained.

Vague memories came back to him, of pain and confusion and Sirius's eyes and wrestling with a dog. He opened his eyes and frowned, and glancing down at his hands. That couldn't be right. Had he been dreaming?

He glanced away, out the window, feeling a strange pang, as if he'd lost something very important.

Then a solid gift wrapped bag landed squarely on his stomach and he grunted with pain, glancing around in surprise. Madame Pomfrey was usually more gently.

"Hi," Sirius greeted, plopping down on the side of his bed casually as if he had every right to be there.

"H-how – what're you doing here?" Remus asked, gazing nervously at him. If he had been dreaming, his dream had been remarkable realistic. Sirius's eyes…they really were a very unique colour…

"I brought you here," Sirius told him, "After you passed out in the shack after sunrise."

With a jolt, Remus realized it wasn't a dream, that he – that Sirius had really been there, Sirius had really seen him…like that…

"Y-you really - the dog…that was…how-"

Sirius nodded. "I'm an animagus."

Remus's eyebrows shot up in his hair. "A registered animagus at this age? But the ministry doesn't-"

"Not registered, no," Sirius cut him off. "And I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone."

Remus nodded hesitantly. "But why – why did you come…"

Sirius shrugged and looked away. "Like I said, I thought you might be bored."

He glanced casually at his bandaged body. "And good thing I did too. Seems like you almost clawed yourself to death."

Remus lowered his eyes, confused at the flat, unfeeling tone of the other boy's voice. "It's no big deal," Remus said softly, staring resolutely at a spot on the white bedsheets. "Happens every time, so nothing I can do about it."

Then his face was caught in a strong, long-fingered grip, forcing him to raise his head. Sirius's face was suddenly too close, stormy eyes filled with such anguish that it made Remus gasp.

"You will _never_," Sirius whispered, the concerned look in his eyes becoming possessive, "do that to yourself again."

"I-I c-can't hel-help it," Remus stuttered, eyes flickering helplessly to the soft red lips so close to his face.

Sirius's grip tightened. "I will be there to make sure you don't."

Remus's breathing had quickened. "B-but this is…every month. You can't – not every time-"

"Every time," Sirius assured him quietly and then his lips were locked over Remus's and the exhausted boy melted against his touch, going boneless as Sirius leaned over him and grasped him behind the head to pull his mouth even closer.

Remus could feel something inside him unclench, and when Sirius pulled back, he gazed at the boy with heavy lidded, slightly dazed eyes.

Sirius smiled, looking beautiful and carelessly handsome in the morning sunlight and brushed a thumb over his mouth. "I like this look on your face," he said softly and Remus blushed, unable to tear his eyes away.

"YOU BOYS BETTER BE DECENT, I'M COMING IN!" came Madame Pomfrey's voice and Sirius grinned, pulling away but grasping Remus's hand tightly.

The door opened and Madame Pomfrey entered, hands on her hips.

"What is that?" she demanded, pointing one imperious finger at the parcel on Remus's stomach.

"I-I don't know," Remus stammered, subtly attempting to pull his hand away from Sirius's, then turning a brighter shade of red when the boy refused to let go.

"I don't want any-" she began sternly but broke off when Sirius suddenly stepped close to her and whispered something in her ear. A light blush adorned her cheeks and she beamed at him and nodded. Without another word, she opened the door and left, closing it behind her.

Remus glanced at him questioningly. What_ was_ in the parcel anyway? There weren't many things Madame Pomfrey would be so pleased about her patients having while in the hospital.

"I've gotta go," Sirius told him, stepping close to the bed and jerking his thumb at the door, indicating the formidably healer. "But I'll be back soon. Till then get some rest-" he leaned in low and whispered in Remus's ear "- Moony."

Remus gasped in outrage but Sirius had disappeared out the door before he could say a word, leaving him with a flushed face and a strange, warm and gooey feeling in his chest.

With fumbling fingers, he pulled the ribbon that tied the parcel, a silly smile on his face.

When he opened the box, for a moment, he stared uncomprehendingly at the contents. Then, a moment later, his smile trembled as his eyes filled with tears.

It was the huge parcel full of every kind of chocolate that he had seen Sirius purchase in Honeydukes.

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**A/N:** Reviews are to me what chocolates are to Remus ^.^


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